


Soft Waves upon the Rocks

by Puzzlebox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family, Angst, Established Relationship, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 12:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16810561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puzzlebox/pseuds/Puzzlebox
Summary: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I lied to you.” Harry sounded out of breath, even though he was sat, unmoving on the sands of the lake. Draco was the one walking back and forth, but he wasn’t tired, just furious.Draco spat, “You didn’t just tell me that my dress robes don’t make me look fat, Potter. You looked me in the eye and told me the reason you didn’t want to have sex was that you were a virgin.”





	Soft Waves upon the Rocks

“What, so you just lied to me? Am I so repulsive to you that even the thought of being with me--”

“I am with you--”

“Shut up. You know what I meant.” Draco began to pace, kicking up gravel and sand, grimacing as bits and pieces made their way into his dress shoes, “So was it all just a joke? Make fun of the slimy little Deatheater, make him think I love him?”

“I do love you-”

“Hilarious, Potter. One of your best. Even better than a face full of fucking mud.”

“God no, Draco, please just listen to-”

“How could you?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I lied to you.” Harry sounded out of breath, even though he was sat, unmoving on the sands of the lake. Draco was the one walking back and forth, but he wasn’t tired, just furious.

Draco spat, “You didn’t just tell me that my dress robes don’t make me look fat, Potter. You looked me in the eye and told me the reason you didn’t want to have sex was that you were a virgin.”

“I know.”

“So what other reason could you possibly have?” Draco’s teeth clacked together as he clenched his jaw shut.

“I- I-”

“I knew it. It’s not that you don’t want to have sex, it’s that you don’t want to have sex  _ with me. _ ”

“I do, I really do. But I can’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just  _ can’t- _ ”

“What, it’s not that you can’t get it up, because we both know that’s a lie,” Sure, that was rude and crude and all the things Draco was not, at least not to Harry, but he was certifiably  _ pissed off  _ so he didn’t beat himself up about it.

“Please just-”

“What, do I not fit with your image or something?” That was another blow below the waist-- he shouldn’t be blaming Harry over his own insecurities, especially not ones that he hadn’t really felt since the beginning of their relationship, not since they were dumbass fourth years, having illicit hookups in abandoned hallways.

“That’s not fair, Draco.”

“Then what, Potter? What is it about me that reviles you?”

“Draco, I’m trying, here. Please just sit down and listen to me. Please.”

Draco finally looked up from the quickly accumulating layer of dust on the cuff of his pants, facing towards Harry. There was a tired resignation in his figure as Harry ran his fingers through the coarse gravel, the waves at his feet. Draco couldn’t meet his eyes-- his face was downcast as if in grief or shame or some other deeply painful emotion that Draco didn’t have the capacity for. He’d never seen Harry like this, not even after his Godfather died. Draco slumped down onto the dirt next to Harry and intertwined their fingers. He hoped whatever Harry had to say would be enough to forgive him-- it wouldn’t do to have dirty trousers  _ and  _ a broken heart. Harry didn’t look up, his face pinched and his chin to his chest and Draco really didn’t understand what that meant-- not even on Harry’s face which was his favorite to read. 

“Okay, I’m here, I’m here.” Draco whispered, unwilling to shatter the silence which was as tangible as the wind. 

Harry shuttered and gripped his hand, once, twice, then turned his head, resting it on Draco’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, but it was just easier than telling the truth and I was scared how you’d react.”

“I’ll try not to freak out if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, I’m just scared you won’t want me after I tell you this.”

“Impossible.”

Harry opened his mouth as if to protest, but Draco quickly closed it with a palm on his cheek, “Impossible, Potter.”

Harry nodded to himself, and leaned into his cupped hand. 

“So, um. I have had sex.”

There was a long pause. Harry was waiting for something, maybe a sign from the universe that everything would be okay, or taking his time summoning the courage to continue-- either way he wasn’t looking for a response, so Draco didn’t offer one.

Harry slowly sat up and away from Draco, his eyes locked onto his lap, “It’s just… I’ve never had consensual sex.”

Draco breathed in and out, in and out, in.

“What?” Draco’s heart sunk from his chest, “What?”

He hadn’t heard that right. There’s no way he’d heard that right. But suddenly, every time that Harry had tensed up when things had gotten a little intense, and every odd flinch under his intimate embrace suddenly made sense. The memories left his mouth metallic.

Harry’s brow was pinched, “It happened a long time ago, and I thought I was over it, but I guess I’m not.”

“How long ago?” Draco wasn’t sure why he asked, because he didn’t want to know, and Harry clearly didn’t want to tell him.

“I didn’t quite understand what it was back then, I was really young.”

“How old were you?” He pulled Harry closer, wrapping his arms around him as if that could protect him where Draco apparently couldn’t.

Harry buried his face into the crook of Draco’s neck, “I was eight or nine when it started.”

“Started? Oh my God.” Draco shut his eyes, pressing his nose into Harry’s curls, as if that could blot out the horror. 

“No it-- it wasn’t often, not often enough to see it coming. Just sometimes I’d wake up and he’d be there.”

“In your room? In your house?” Draco’s voice cracked, “I don’t understand, love.”

The only response was a small squeeze on his palm.

“Who, Harry?”

Harry let out a sob, but didn’t say anything. Draco could feel drops of water onto his collarbone.

“I need a name, Harry. Please.”

He felt more than heard Harry’s shaking breath, “My uncle”

Draco’s mind went blank, and all he managed to do was repeat, “Your uncle.”

“It’s fine-”

His uncle. But Harry’s Aunt Marge never married, and as far as he knew, Lily Potter hadn’t had any brothers, only a sister who was married to-- “The one you live with?”

There was a choked sound, “Everything’s fine-”

  
“Oh my God.” Draco swallowed a gag.

“I’m fine,” Harry gasped, “He hasn’t so much as touched me since I came to Hogwarts.”

“You can’t stay there, Harry.”

“It’s fine. He’s either too scared because of the magic, or he’s not interested now that I’m older.” Harry winced, as if knowing that his words were only making the situation worse. Yes, that sounded bad, but Harry didn’t seem to realize that the situation was worse than mere words could ever be.

Draco’s blood boiled, “He’s a sick, sadistic pedophile who deserves to be-”

“It’s just one more year,” Harry cried.

“I’ll kill him, I swear to God, I’ll kill him before you go back there,”

“No, Draco.”

“ _ Yes _ , Harry,” Draco seethed, “What’s the point of having a dark mark if I’m not allowed to act like a Deatheater?”

“Look at me, I’m here, I’m fine. It’s over.”

“Harry, you can’t pretend that what he did hasn’t affected you, or we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”

“Okay, sure. He fucked me up in a lot of ways. But the damage is done. Killing him won’t fix anything.”

“Do you feel safe there, around him?” 

Harry didn’t respond, so Draco took his silence as an answer, “You shouldn’t stay there if you don’t feel safe, Harry. You deserve to feel safe in your own home.”

Harry squeezed his palm again, and looked up, planting his chin onto Draco’s shoulder, “Okay. Okay,” he gasped, “I’m not going back there.” His eyes were red and puffy.

Draco pressed his lips to Harry’s temple and for the first time wondered about Weasley and Granger and a dozen other professors, “Who else knows?”

“Just me and him. And now you. I don’t even think my aunt knows.”

“You never told anyone? Not even your best friends?”

“I never told anyone anything. Didn’t even come up last year in Snape’s occlumency lessons.”

And Draco was floored by that. How is it possible that Harry hadn’t confided in a single person throughout all of his teenage years, but somehow had told him? “Thank you for trusting me. I love you.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be what you need right now, and I understand if you’d want to--”

“Never,” Draco pulled Harry back into his arms, “God, I’m sorry for even pushing you in the first place.”

Harry went tense again, “If I wasn’t such a freak, it wouldn’t have been a problem,”

“Don’t say that-”

“Draco, it’s… not that simple. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for the kind of relationship you want.”

“I don’t care. I’ve waited two years, I’d wait a lifetime. I love you.”

“You would really wait for me to be ready?”

“Would? I _ will _ . I love you.”

Harry’s only response was to push their foreheads together, breathe, and listen to the waves crash upon the shore.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think.


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